The Search: Part One

In these, the days of no meaning, what is the mark of a person? Is it the person he is, beneath his actions and jokes? Or are these actions the definition of him? There are arguments for both sides, and I do not represent myself as having any sort of answer. All I am certain of is nothing. Everything is nothing. Perception is everything. Chemical balances or imbalances in the eight pound bullet-trap we spend so much time killing. What I know is feeling.... this feeling of unfulfillment, of boredom, of indolence; unwanted questions of what if and why not-- terribly destructive thoughts that prove I have too much time and too little to do. But better days are coming, indeed, tomorrow is one of these. I must just need sleep. The barometer is reading a flat 30.00 and dropping. Stormy skies approach, stormy skies that bring Unpredictibility, occasional Weirdness, and plenty of Fun. I'll never forgive swimming for being so tiring, and I will spend many days fighting to forgive myself for my inexcusable indolent nature. I must just need sleep. I'd like to share something with you, so if you have a file download program, I urge you to download Amazed -The Offspring. If you don't, IM me and I'll send you the shit. I live for the adrenaline, for the concrete times when people stand stiff, at a loss for what to do. I live for these times, when cooler heads prevail and rapid thought and good instinct control the footing. The fat is far far from the fire. Mental fatigue is nasty business. None of this, however, answers my question. I leave it open to you.