Home...

People think me a wicked man, I know, and they're welcome to think so. I don't care to know any one except those whom I love. but those I do love, I love in such a way that I would give my life for them, and all the rest I will crush if they get in my way. I have a precious and adored father, and two or three friends, and as to the rest, I only pay attention to them in so far as they are useful or mischievous. and almost all are mischievous, especially the girls. yes, I have met (men) who were loving, noble, and lofty-minded. but women that were not cattle for sale, I have not come across yet. I have not yet met the angelic purity and devotion which I look for in woman, if I could find such a woman, I would give my life for her! but these creatures... But believe me, if I still care for life, I care for it because I still hope to meet such a heavenly creature, who would regenerate and purify and elevate me.

This is me. I am what I am, never bending, never breaking. This does not, of course, suggest never compromising, if you think that you've just missed the point. What I want from this world, from this year, this moment, this post, and from you is fulfillment. Never do I plan to be a spiteful old man, trying to destroy others because I fucked up my time here. Fulfillment is for me peace, serenity, and in those it is love. Love is home. I want to go home. Cup of hot truly natural tea, that had been growing two days ago, cackling fire, and warm affection. These are not too much to ask, I feel, of this god-forsaken world full of atheists. Give me peace, O Lord, grant me this... I can see no one will hold my hand, guide me through the dark with whispers that everthing will be okay...