Shadowy Snake with a Warm Face

Looks will always be deceiving.


And his soul may be white like God's beard, but that says nothing about his heart, which is hard and black like a coffin nail.

Be smart, and always make haste slowly.

Festina Lente

Anxiety in July

What does one do when he destroys himself?
Some continue to live in the past.
Some take an Uzi and climb a clock-tower.
Some go back to who they were at a previous point in their life.
and Some forge ahead.

Lesson learned.

So now, in the times of the great tempests of our lives, what do we do?
Selective memory.

Happy smiles
love and sex
it's gone now
so what comes next

I dropped Blair off from our daily lift at the athletic club earlier today. We had been talking in the sauna about this chick that I was supposed to hang out with tonight.

in parting
Blair: Well, have fun tonight with that ugly bitch.
Stefan: I'm not hanging out with her dude, they called her Fifty-yarder at Waldron
Blair: Listen, maybe it's time for you to look past all the ugly features and really get to know a girl. Fifty yarder is alright because once you get inside that fifty yards, you can see what a beautiful person she really is.
Stefan: ...get out man.


The answer to my original question is we take what we know, what we've learned, and what we hope to accomplish and better ourselves. We shut ourselves away in our cold bedrooms and read the classics. We do NOT think, and as a result, we do NOT post blogs posts, and when we do, they're fucking retarded and shouldn't be read by anyone.

McDonald's fresh
wasting time
violence I wish
or a corona with lime

I Love My Brother

X: Listen man, I'm hot tempered always have been and always will be, I got pissed because I got ditched on the trip by you and blair, in myhead youtwo were conspiring against me but then again that's the reason I drink, now that I have been drinking it all seems very foolish, I'm sorry for the asshole shit from when we were drinking friday and I'm sorry for the asshole insinuations I made after I felt betrayed, the thing is I probably wasn't betrayed but my head is always fucking with me like that, I could explain it but it's a lot of words,

basically, I'm sorry for being a childish asshole and I shouldn't ever really get angry at family

Tired of This Shit

I just woke myself from a fucking weird dream.

I won't go into great detail, but I will tell you that three lives ended.

I drove my old 300M and as I was going somewhere, I noticed some bright, shiny silver glinting at me from the passenger floor board. It was a hand gun, probably a .45, since I've been playing Hitman: Blood Money all night and that's my weapon of choice. It had an extended clip and custom long barrel. Sweet.

I used it to blow the unlucky, unhappy, and unworthy of living Mr. Goof Troop the fuck away. My good gravy! What satisfaction. The second was someone else. It had to happen, and that's all there is to it. The third was myself, and I remember, before I went to that field, she said, over and over "Stop crying, I can't take it when you cry." My only reply was "I'm not, I've something in my eye."

I woke myself up just before the final pull of the trigger, and it really would have made the moment if the gunshot had echoed through my bedroom as I awoke, but alas! I'm not that much of a fuck-up. Did/do you ever do that (wake yourself up)? I remember when I was little, I'd used to have Scary Dreams, and I always knew what was going to happen. That's how I knew it was a dream, I could think independently of my dream self and know what my course of action would be, try to fight it, and fail miserably. I would always wake myself up right before the Scariness hit its climax, and be angry with myself for being so scared at an episode of Batman, or the zombie guys in Ocarina of Time.

Anyway, that's what's just happened. Throughout the dream, I knew everything ahead of time, where to find this person, what I was going to do, think, say... it was very much a dream and I knew it the entire time.

I just wasn't able to finish what I started.

And you know, normally, the first thing I think of when I wake up is "What time is it?" followed shortly by "What day is it?" Not this time, no, when I woke up however many minutes ago my first thought was "I'm so tired of this shit."


And the second thing I thought....

"It's really over."

Atlas Never Complains

You've heard it all before.

Truly, is it better to have loved and lost, or to never have loved at all?
I suppose loved and lost, because such is life: A wave.

The Bad things come out at night. Late at night, when you're drunk and therefore unable to discern the evil shape as there is not light on account of night, and you're drunk. I suppose that a weak person must combat this evil shape in another manner entirely than the full frontal assault of the strong person... Yet, truly the greatest teacher of all things is Experience.

One learns to fight by fighting. Chaotic combat changes weak fools to strong men.

I suddenly remembered something Devon (Awesome) said to me, when my y value was negative infinity (i'm referring to my cosecant post, plotting my life on a coordinate plane), he said to me "Your heart is too big for you to be doing this shit." That struck me then truly as it does now. He is, of course, correct. My head and loins just have yet to catch up to my heart and soul.

The world stopped turning the day I broke the heart of a girl who had the soul of an angel

Truly.

Summer Sucks

Go Germany.